Author Blog

When feedback lights a fire to revisions

Help comes from the unexpected. Keep to the journey. Get better with every round.

Diliny M. De Alwis

16 May 2024 — 4 min read

Author Life

When feedback lights a fire to revisions

I was stuck. To date, I have received 18 rejections from literary agents. I understand that the first half-dozen were vague, inexperienced attempts. I was proud of my homework: write a synopsis and drop the first 5, 10, 20, or 50 pages of my novel. Diligently, with faith that it may resonate with someone, I kept at it.

I received feedback from two literary agents, leading to a recalibration.

But it wasn’t enough. The 2nd literary agent had said I needed to tighten up the synopsis in my query letter.

I had a hard think.

In my writing group, we’re not all 1–1 in writing styles and genres.

I proposed an experiment —

I can think of at least one friend who might be interested in reading my synopsis and telling me if they find it intriguing. It's a back-of-the-cover, one-page reading, and there's no pressure. I know for a fact that they read the books that I love. Maybe this will be an angle I can take.

I add the first five pages to my experiment.

Feedback on synopsis and first five pages

Feedback 1

I really like the introductory sequence. Your way of writing takes me back to the writing from fantasy books I read when I was younger.
I think from the synopsis that this has a lot of potential.
I’m curious to find out many things! But primarily I think to get buy-in from the reader, I’d like to see a compelling introduction to the protagonist, to be able to visualise Nara Sinha as a man-lion, learn more of his back story, and hear about the initial first escapade that gets the reader on his side.

Feedback 2

Yes I would keep reading. You set the stage well, you have a lot to build upon, so the foundation is there. Keep going this is great. I presume there will big the climatic battle scene in the future.

Summary of changes requested:

Remove the colloquialisms.
Fix fragmented sentences.
GIVE A DEFINITION OF AN ASURA (Blog post to follow)
Tighten up some areas of confusion

Feedback from test readers

A couple of weeks ago, I gave my work to two beta readers: my trusted friend and children’s music teacher and my 13-year-old son.

My son read the book in 3 days (a huge improvement from when he read The Taking). The book held his young attention span. He loved the characters and the journey. He is looking forward to a sequel.

My friend read the book. To qualify her, she reads a wide variety of books. I would tag her as an avid reader who will battle through a difficult read just to see what’s on the other side. So her feedback was extra special.

I had no problem imagining your world in my mind. Furthermore, your characters and the story exist in a parallel universe to me. I forget a lot, but I will not forget this book. It is a story that I want to read again because I feel like I will pick up another layer in re-reading.

Overall, she enjoyed the story and plot lines. Given that this is from version 1.0 of the book, she requested version 4.0, which includes more of a backstory and tightening of the plots around the water buffalo demon.

What this feedback did for me

As a whole, positive feedback is a great thing. Please note, there were some issues with dialogue repeated by all three of my adult readers and questions around the definition of an asura.

Sharing my work meant I could have a deeper discussion on plot, character arc, and development. While my friends are inexperienced editors offering solutions — I temper their words with the knowledge that I am the CEO and the ultimate authority over my work. I push back when the suggestion does not vibe with the bigger picture, as some things have yet to come to light (especially for my 5-page readers).

I ended up making minor revisions, adding 1000 words, to the first 5 chapters of my novel. I will continue through the end, but this covers the first 50 pages, as often requested by literary agents.

I had also put a full stop to querying more agents until I got my act together. I felt like I wasted a bunch of queries last week only to make changes to my query letter that put it head and shoulders above the previous version. That’s an agonizing gut punch.

These aren’t major revisions.

I leave it up to the subjectivity gods. Hopefully, an agent reading my letter will resonate.

This is a merry-go-round type of journey at the moment. I am circling and becoming dizzy. Each time, I feel I am getting closer to my goal of representation. Each time, I remind myself that this agent is busy. This agent has a full docket of clients. My work may not resonate with this agent.

There will be one.