Parenting a Teenager—I have feelings.

My son graduated from public school. Watching him grow up has been a joy. Friends and family adore him for his friendly, easy-going nature. As he grew in height and age, he continued to embody a childlike innocence. I would mistakenly say he had limited common sense in social settings. No, I was wrong. He often struggled to remember people's names and faces. He had to focus extra hard to pick up nuance and context. Over time, he has been improving.

When it comes to school work, he does his best but often falls short of his potential. He buries himself in reading books.

Is he me? I was like that. I was a late bloomer. I read books and didn't ask how or why I should fit in. I just gave up. It was too hard. I was too shy. I could not keep up.

Something changes when you go to high school—as you transition into adulthood and take responsibility for your life's direction,

However, as I have written, I had been on many journeys before embarking on this one.

How do I teach my son to find his way? How do we set him up to succeed in a world that he shuts out?

Trust

First, I must trust him and his abilities. I will not shelter him while he lives in the safety of our home.

• For all of his vices, he is responsible, thoughtful, and polite.
• I trust he will remain grounded.
• He will discover his path and interests with time and be unashamedly whoever he chooses to be.

Allow Space to Make Mistakes

He will make mistakes while he lives under my roof. This means he chooses his friends, and maybe that means having less-than-ideal grades while being overwhelmed by extracurricular activities.

This means making friends outside of school, such as through cadet programs or summer camps. Spending weeks away from home experiencing what it will be like one day, when he goes away, for real.

I Need to Set the Example

As a parent, I am his leader. He's lucky to have not only two parents, but many adult role models in his life. One of us may be strict while the other listens. His music teacher nurtures. She is my role model. He will develop emotional intelligence thanks to our native dysfunction. We teach him it's possible to make mistakes, even as adults.

How can I teach him the importance of hard work and persistence? Through my example. He sees how hard I strive. He sees my mistakes.

How do I teach him to be confident? By showing him my gratitude when he takes the lead. By gently pointing out both successes and failures, and getting him to own the results.

I Can't Control What He Will Experience

He will feel bullied at times by everyone and everything—including the cat.

While I can't control what he will experience in life, I can be an ear, a witness, and a guidance counsellor. He will overbake the pizza crust or get lost on a hiking trail. That is ok. I can patiently show him the way.

I am terrified for his future. I can be open and honest about current world politics. I can introduce a conversation that leads to questioning the world. The world is a scary and judgmental place. There is no protection that I can give other than always leaving the door open for him.

He will always be my little baby.