The power in intention setting
The challenge of finding my WHY.
Life Hacks
The power in intention setting
Another Monday rolls around, and it has been a week. My New Year’s resolution to get fit and exercise has fizzled out by January 22nd. What gives?
My goals are all wrong.
Getting fit isn’t a goal. There isn’t a beginning, a middle, or an end. My motivation is lacking. Inertia is too strong. What are my drivers?
What should be my goal? Face up to the truth.
- Lift 100 kg’s? — No, this isn’t something that appeals to me.
- Reduce 5 inches on my waist? — I don’t believe it. I’ve struggled with being overweight for years. I’m burnt out.
- Get stronger? — I am strong. I am able. Nothing to prove here.
- Get more physically active? — I want to curl up and read a book in a cardboard box like a cat. This is not a motivator. I’m content being lethargic, lazy, and inanimate.
Finding my way to why.
Fear is a good initiator. I sought a partner because I feared being alone and unable to have kids or raise a family. I studied hard because I feared being unemployed.
Advertising and social media take fearmongering to the extreme. This makes isolating my unique fears that motivate me extremely difficult. There are fear triggers everywhere. News, being unsalaried, being far away from family or friends, elections, and my health all trigger me. Many of these things are out of my control.
Get uncomfortable.
Accept the reality of the situation.
What is uncertain? A ship riding out the storm.
Today’s economy has too many equally qualified candidates applying for the same job. We’re all little sperm swimming for an egg. Unfortunately, only one can make it. I can spend 35 hours a week sending out resumes, or I can spend that writing my novel.
I must be decisive in the outcome I seek and, more importantly, my why.
Limiting Fears: I am a mom. I have limited time to myself outside of work hours. During work hours, I am either job hunting or writing my novel. The job hunt is futile. I have fought the belief that discrimination for being a parent, for being brown, and for being a woman affects my chances. These limiting fears all come up like the four horsemen with every rejection letter. At least this job didn’t ghost me, this time.
What is certain?
The novel may or may not pan out. I believe in having a calling. I am a storyteller. On my deathbed, I will regret not having taken the time to write these novels. That is a HUGE driver of my current motivation to succeed. I know this is a done deal; I will complete it.
Exploration of my deepest fears.
What am I most afraid of? Lack of productivity. My mind slowing in sharpness and clarity. Foggy brain syndrome happens due to lack of sleep, lack of good food, or general fatigue.
I can use this…
- Motivation to go to bed at the right time
- Motivation to eat right
- Motivation to move?
Nope. In my brain, fatigue and moving aren’t related unless I can talk myself into believing that moving releases me from fatigue.
- Sunlight, movement outdoors
- Extra energy, pumping muscles
- Release from anger or frustrations of running my hamster wheel — boxing the dummy.
Accept the deeper truths that only I know.
I’m scared I will lose my relevance. The writer’s life is not the same as working a 9–5 job and earning a salary. There are no promises of financial stability or benefits. This is the cost of a labor of love — deep uncertainty.
- Go easy on me — Rome wasn’t built in a day.
- Take tiny steps — One good choice at a time wins the day.
- Play the long game — Trust the journey.
Reset my goals with motivation.
- Am I eating well and 3 full meals a day when not fasting?
- Am I getting up to move and push my muscles and body so that movement itself is easy?
- Am I taking the time to rest my loud mind? Listening but remaining objective to what I find?
- Am I being kind to myself, undertaking what can be done only in a one-step-at-a-time approach?
- Am I practicing self-love and self-compassion? Give me that mental hug or pleasure for a job well done.
- Am I well rested? If not resting, do I give myself room to rest? To catch up on what I need when I am tired.
- Am I acknowledging my fears? Do I sit and have tea with them?
- Am I wary of my judgments? Most importantly, the judgment of myself.
- Am I my own best friend? Be there for me. Listen to me. Talk to me. Experience me.
- Am I balanced? Recognize extremes. Choose to be equanamous.
I will check in again in a couple of months and see how these revised goals lead me. — D.M. De Alwis, 23 January, 2024
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Diliny M. De Alwis
Diliny M. De Alwis
